By: Bec Harris
When news breaks that a beloved celebrity has died, many people are surprised by how deeply it affects them. Even though we may never have met the person, the sadness can feel real and personal.
Michelle Moriarty, Founder of Grief Connect, unpacks why celebrity deaths can hit us so hard, and why those emotions are completely valid.
The conversation began with Doug referencing Dawson’s Creek star, James Van Der Beek, who recently passed away following a battle with cancer. His death hugely impacted fans all around the world.
Why It Feels Personal
Many people grow up watching certain shows or following public figures through significant seasons of life. Over time, emotional connections naturally form. Michelle explains that audiences often feel like they truly know a character, and sometimes the actor behind them too.
“When we experience these connections with actors or characters, it can create what’s called parasocial griefwhen they die,” she said.
A parasocial relationship is essentially one-sided. Celebrities don’t personally know their fans, but fans can still feel emotionally connected through stories, interviews, and shared experiences portrayed on screen. Shows like Dawson’s Creek are often a big part of people’s formative years, meaning the characters – and the actors who portrayed them – also became woven into personal memories and identity.
What Is Parasocial Grief?
According to Michelle, today’s media environment strengthens these connections even further. Through social media, fans often see celebrities share personal milestones, struggles, and even experiences of illness or loss. This openness can deepen emotional investment.
As she explains, people may feel sadness, shock, tearfulness, or even numbness when a public figure dies – and these reactions are entirely natural.
Michelle gave an example from James Van Der Beek’s cancer journey.
“Through his journey of dying and end of life he was very open about where he was at. He was also very open about his grief to do with his mother’s death, and those things help us form that connection. We can feel like we know them, so when they die themselves we then experience grief, loss, and the myriad of emotions that can come with it.”
Triggering Connection
Sometimes the emotion goes deeper than sadness about the celebrity themselves. Public loss can awaken memories of our own grief experiences.
Michelle explains that a celebrity death may remind us of a loved one we’ve lost. “We may be missing a person in our life, a family member or a friend or a colleague, and that experience of publicly viewing a celebrity death can also then really bring up feelings of emotion. It may bring up memories of the person in our real life who we’re missing also.”
Recognising this connection can help people understand why their reaction feels stronger than expected.
Healthy Ways to Process Grief
So what should we do when grief surfaces after a public loss? Michelle encourages people to begin with simple awareness.
She suggests acknowledging what you’re feeling and noticing both your thoughts and physical responses. Rather than pushing emotions away, creating intentional space to process them can be healing.
Small personal rituals can help, such as:
- Lighting a candle
- Listening to meaningful music (in this case the Dawson’s Creek theme)
- Rewatching a favourite episode
These moments allow grief to be expressed safely while helping people gradually return to everyday life.
Honouring The Lost
Importantly, grief is not only about sadness. Michelle emphasises that grief can also involve appreciation and gratitude for what someone brought into our lives.
Remembering joyful moments, laughing at favourite scenes, or revisiting happy memories can be a healthy way of honouring someone’s impact. Feeling moments of happiness while remembering someone is not disrespectful – it’s part of healing.
When to Seek Extra Support
While grief is natural, it’s important to notice when it begins affecting daily functioning. If sadness feels overwhelming, persistent, or makes it difficult to move forward, professional support can help.
“It can be really helpful to connect in counselling and access a professional if you’re struggling,” she encourages. “We can really dig deep into how you’re feeling and help you feel better around grief.”
Services like Grief Connect offer counselling options for people navigating loss, whether connected to personal experiences or emotions stirred by public events.
A Reminder: Your Feelings Are Valid
Celebrity grief may seem unusual at first glance, but psychology tells us otherwise. Human beings are wired for connection – and stories, music, film, and shared cultural moments create meaningful emotional bonds.
If you’ve ever felt unexpectedly emotional after a public loss, you’re not alone. Those feelings simply reflect the ways stories and people shape our lives, memories, and hearts. And sometimes, even a one-sided connection can remind us just how deeply we are capable of caring.
Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.
Feature image: Canva
