By: Laura Bennett
Jasmine Lopez was a mum to two when her third child Ezra passed away in the neo-natal ward.
WARNING: This story deals with the details of infant loss and mental health that may be distressing for some readers.
While dealing with her own grief, she was consoling her older children as they processed his death, and that’s a challenge Jasmine wants parents better equipped to handle.
Jasmine’s son Ezra had spent four months in intensive care when he passed way from cardiac arrest in 2023.
“My emotional state was a roller coaster,” Jasmine said.
“There were dates set for him to go home, but then he had to have emergency surgery, then he’d get better and then there were other things that would come up.”
On the day Jasmine and her husband were told Ezra could finally come home they got the call he’d died.
“[It was] really tough,” Jasmine said.
“[But] it’s opened my mind up to how many people are going through this,” Jasmine said.
In Australia one on four pregnancies end in loss – whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death – and each year over 2000 babies are stillborn or die within the first month.
“It’s common [but] it’s not something you would think of if you didn’t go through it,” Jasmine said.
Alongside the grieving parents are children trying to understand why their sibling hasn’t come home from the hospital, or how the baby they met and cuddled got suddenly ill and passed away.
When Ezra died Jasmine’s children were devasted.
Then, months later she unexpectedly fell pregnant, and her kids excitedly tracked the progress in an app – only for Jasmine to miscarry and face grief collectively again.
“[My kids] asked why this happened when they’d prayed so hard for [this baby] to make it,” Jasmine said.
“I couldn’t answer that – and I wished at that moment I had some resources, or a book, [and] that’s when I realized it was my story to tell.”
Jasmine wrote Hope for the Unknown to help children understand loss through the lens of God’s love and hope, even when there are no answers.
“Our hope is only with God,” Jasmine said.
“I worried about almost everything, I worried about the future, and it doesn’t help.”
Coupling illustrations with gentle language around infant-loss and grief, Hope for the Unknown guides families through conversations prompted by their loss.
“I thought I wouldn’t make it, [but] there is hope,” Jasmine said.
“The best thing is to start acknowledging that God has a bigger plan than our own personal story.
“It’s just not about me; it’s about Him being glorified in every way.”
If you need support after the loss of a child, Red Nose Grief and Loss can be contacted via their website or by calling 1300 308 307.
Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.
Feature image: Canva
About the Author: Laura Bennett is a media professional, broadcaster and writer from Sydney, Australia.
