By: Joni Boyd
Starting school can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there’s help available.
Local mum, educator and founder of The Reading Village Kellyanne Cazeau has 16 years of classroom experience.
Her advice to parents and carers with children starting school in the next year or so is simple – start now.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint
“I first want to preface this by saying, please don’t think about doing this the week before school starts. This is year long… think of it long term.”
She explained that preparation actually begins much earlier than many would think.
The reason for this extended timeline becomes clear when considering what school demands of children: “School is a massive change for children just because of the length of the day and also what it’s requiring of them emotionally, mentally, socially.
“It’s so demanding. And many Prep children have meltdowns every day.”
Independence is Key
Rather than focusing solely on academic skills, Kellyanne emphasised the importance of fostering independence: “One of the best ways you can prepare your child for the first year of school is to help them to become more independent.
“They’re not going to have you with them all the time as a shadow.”
She suggested practical ways to build independence: “Ways we can help them become more independent is to give them opportunities to be away from you, their main caregiver.
“If they’re not going to kindergarten already, maybe it’s play dates with a friend. There’s lots of different opportunities.
“But also give them independence with opening their lunchbox and doing up their bag.”
For parents worried about certain skills, Kellyanne offered reassurance: “Shoelaces isn’t a big thing because you can have Velcro.
“But making sure they can toilet themselves properly. Just giving them as many skills as you as you can for them to be able to be independent and to communicate what they need to their caregiver.”
Preparing for social challenges
Drawing from her experience as a mum, Kellyanne shared specific social preparation needs: “In my case, I have an only child, so socially I needed to prepare him in being able to take turns sharing.
“This is going to be taught in school anyway, so they don’t have to have it all perfect, but just preparing them as well that it’s different from home.”
She explained a crucial reality children need to understand: “The teacher has 20 plus kids in front of them, not just you.
“So you may not be heard straight away and you’re going to have to wait to be heard.”
Better Ways to Connect after School
Many parents struggle with getting information about their child’s day.
Kellyanne offered practical advice based on her own experience: “My son does not want to talk as soon as he jumps into the car.
“Timing is key. Asking them as soon as they’ve hopped in the car is probably not the best time.”
She suggested being more strategic with questions: “Also being more specific with your question… if you know their timetable, that they had Art today, that they had PE today…
“Are you trying to find out how they’re doing emotionally, or are you just trying to build connection with them?”
Kellyanne reminded parents that connection doesn’t have to come through questioning: “We don’t have to build connection by asking about their school day.
“It could just be by going for a run with them or kicking a ball with them.”
For parents who do want to ask about school, she recommended specific questions like: “who did you play with today?”, “did you have fun playing that?”, “what did you guys do?”, “how was sport today?”, and “what did you learn?”
“They’re more direct questions than how was your day?”
Managing Separation Anxiety
For children who struggle with being away from their parents, Kellyanne shared practical strategies from her own experience: “Some things that I do for my child is to leave something with him that reminds him of me… little love notes in their lunchbox… he can read now, so that’s great.
“It could be a photo of the two of you. It could be just a little trinket… I’ve got a little stone love heart that I give him.”
The purpose of these items is clear: “Just things that, when he’s thinking of me or he needs something to connect with me, he’s got that in his pocket.”
Parents need support too
Kellyanne was honest about her own struggles and how they affect children and she encouraged parents to seek their own support: “Do whatever you need to do to feel supported with letting go. Cause it’s hard. It’s really hard.”
The challenge of losing control was something Kellyanne related to personally: “It’s so hard letting go and wanting to be in control. I’m a control freak.
“When you send your child to school, you do not have control over their day at all.”
Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.
Feature image: Canva
About the Author: Joni Boyd is a writer, based in the Hawkesbury Region of NSW. She is passionate about the power of stories shared, to transform lives.
