What a simple prayer in a tough moment reminds us about coming back to God.

Australian singer, Guy Sebastian, is rightly famous for winning the first season of Australian Idol back in 2003, and then going on to have a stellar career with ten albums totalling seven million sales and nearly two billion streams on Spotify so far. He is, some two and a bit decades later, still the most successful by far.

There was an article about Guy that caught my eye in the Sydney Morning Herald in which he and his wife talk about the legal wrangle he found himself in when his former manager was charged with stealing a truckload of his money. It’s a pretty raw account of what happened.

And it starts this way:

When Guy Sebastian found himself sobbing in a toilet cubicle of a NSW courtroom, where he was giving evidence against his former manager and friend, Titus Day, he began to pray. “Then I felt guilty,” says the musician as his wife, Jules, gently places her hand on his arm. “It was like, ‘Ah, I’ll just say a prayer when [things] hits the fan.’ I haven’t prayed for so long [and now I’m] just asking for help when things are rubbish.”

Guy has gotten stick down the years for having abandoned his faith when he got famous. He was pretty churchy back in the day, as were many of the Idol singers who had cut their teeth on stages in the megachurches across the country.

There were puff pieces on his faith in all the women’s mags, and for a while it was kinda cool again to be churchy and then that faded (though here we are again. Go figure!)

A bunch of us felt a little discomfited that Guy began to distance himself from his faith as he became more famous. And not out of anger, but more out of concern, given there’s a parable by Jesus in there somewhere, something about soil and seed and weeds.

But, leaving that aside,  Guy’s instinct to pray when things got tough is totally right.

Yet his guilt is not.

We’ve all been there

Why do I say that? Because we all recognise Guy’s dilemma. We’ve all been on that sliding scale of prayerlessness. And then suddenly things are rubbish and we find ourselves praying and we’re thinking in that self-loathing way, “How lame am I? I’m just asking God for help cos I’m out of my depth and in a bind!”

Have you not been there? I know I have. I well remember as an early 20-something having train wrecked a couple of years of my life, standing in the shower one morning and saying:

“Okay Lord, I’m going to get up every day and live life for you this time. And every day I’m going to ask you to help me.”

Results? Good at times. Sketchy at other times. Very, very good when I was diagnosed with a terrible illness. Not so good when life was frustrating me and I wasn’t getting what I wanted (and I was pretty sure God didn’t want me to get what I wanted either, which invariably turned out to be a good thing looking back on it). But here’s my takeaway:

Don’t let your guilt for not praying keep you from praying!

Our Heavenly Father loves to hear our prayers and isn’t standing with folded arms, tapping his foot in annoyance and asking “So, now that you’re in trouble you turn up. Is that right?”

That’s actually what WE would be like, but not God. By contrast Jesus presents his Father as one who loves to give good gifts to his children, even his wayward children. And God loves us to pray.

I recently interviewed former Ridley College Principal, and one time rector of St Jude’s in Carlton, Melbourne, Peter Adam, about his wonderful book on prayer, ‘Prayerfulness: Cultivating a Bible-enriched prayer life.’

Right at the start of it, he says this, and it moves my heart:

God likes talking and God likes listening. God likes talking to us, and God likes hearing from us when we talk to him. God talks to us when we read his word, The Bible. And God listens to us when we pray – that is, when we talk to him. God likes talking to us and listening to us, because God like us, and because he has made us to relate to him (and to each other) by words.

God likes us and likes hearing from us. Perhaps when you’re at the stage Guy Sebastian is, ostensibly far from God, it’s easy to think that God is far from you.

But we know he is close to each one of us. He was there with Guy in that toilet cubicle in a New South Wales court house, as an earthly judge determined whether he was being ripped off or not.

God wants to hear from you!

So whether it’s a toilet cubicle, or a virtual pig pen in a faraway land, or even that office you’re sitting in, or that kitchen window you’re staring through wondering just why the fan’s been hit so many times, God still wants to hear from you! Amazing, but true.

And more than that, he is wherever you are at the moment. That is how God is because that is who God is. If a cross is not too low for God to turn up at, then you slumped over the bowl sobbing your heart out isn’t too low for him either.

And as we know, God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain. CS Lewis reminds us of this. Perhaps Guy’s pain is God’s way of drawing him back to Himself. One can never tell.

And perhaps that’s true of you today too. You haven’t prayed for so long, and now here you are asking for help when things are rubbish.  And in God’s economy, that’s totally okay, as this famous prayer from Hannah in 1 Samuel 2 reminds us:

“The Lord brings death and makes alive;
he brings down to the grave and raises up.
The Lord sends poverty and wealth;
he humbles and he exalts.

He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honour.”

Or to put it differently, the one who left the throne of heaven, isn’t ashamed to be with you as you cry ugly tears, deep in the midst of your own mess. Angels might not have brought you here (let the reader understand), but God may well have done. And he can raise you back up again. You only have to ask him. Guilt free.

Article supplied with thanks to Stephen McAlpine

About the Author: Stephen has been reading, writing and reflecting ever since he can remember. A former church pastor, he now trains church and ministry leaders, and in his writing dabbles in a number of fields, notably theology and culture.

Feature image: Supplied

If you’ve ever gone to bed replaying the day in your head, wondering if you were too harsh, too distracted, or just not enough, you are not alone. 

Parental guilt is incredibly common, yet deeply unhelpful when left unchecked. 

Despite the growing number of resources and parenting advice available today, many parents still feel like they are falling short.

The truth is, striving for perfection in parenting is not only unsustainable, it’s unnecessary. Psychological research continues to affirm that what children need most is not a flawless parent, but a safe, responsive, and emotionally available one. In fact, “good enough” parenting is not only acceptable, it is optimal.

Understanding the Guilt Trap

A 2023 study published in the Journal of Child & Family Studies found that over 78% of parents report experiencing frequent guilt. This guilt stems from a variety of sources: working long hours, not engaging enough, losing patience, relying on screens, or simply feeling emotionally drained.

From a psychological perspective, guilt often arises when there is a gap between our “ideal parent” self-the kind of parent we aspire to be – and our real, everyday experiences. 

The problem arises when this guilt turns into shame. As author and researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Guilt says ‘I did something bad.’ Shame says ‘I am bad.’” The difference matters. Guilt can prompt reflection and change. Chronic guilt or shame, however, undermines a parent’s confidence and connection.

The Science of “Good Enough”

The idea of being a “good enough” parent might sound like lowering the bar, but it’s actually backed by decades of solid psychological research.

The term was first introduced by British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott back in the mid-20th century. He found that children don’t thrive because their parents are perfect. They thrive because their parents are reliable, loving, and human. In other words, consistently “good enough.” That means showing up, offering care, and being willing to make things right when you mess up, not avoiding mistakes altogether.

This idea has stood the test of time. More recent research, like Dr. Ed Tronick’s famous Still Face Experiment, showed just how important connection and repair really are. In the study, when a parent stopped responding to their baby, even for a short time, the baby quickly became distressed. But once the parent re-engaged and reconnected, the baby settled. What mattered most wasn’t that the parent never “disconnected,” but that they came back.

Attachment science backs this up again and again: what builds a secure bond with your child isn’t perfection, it’s your ability to reconnect after a tough moment. It’s not about never getting it wrong. It’s about how you handle it when you do.

What Healthy Repair Looks Like

In therapy, one of the most powerful shifts for parents comes when they realise that making mistakes is not the issue. The real growth lies in what happens next. Children are remarkably resilient when they experience relational repair after moments of rupture.

Here are a few simple but effective repair strategies:

• If you raised your voice: “I was feeling overwhelmed, but it wasn’t okay to speak to you like that. I’m sorry.”
• If you overlooked something important to them: “I can see that this mattered to you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”
• If you reacted sharply when they were seeking connection: “I understand you weren’t trying to upset me. I wish I had responded more gently.”

Repair is not about making grand apologies. It is about recognising our mis-steps, taking responsibility, and reinforcing the message that the relationship is strong enough to withstand difficult moments.

Moving From Guilt to Growth

For parents who find themselves stuck in spirals of guilt, it can be helpful to pause and consider the following:

• Acknowledge the feeling: Label the emotion. “I’m feeling guilty because I care deeply about doing this well.”
• Challenge black-and-white thinking: A single moment does not define your parenting. Reflect on the broader pattern.
• Practice self-compassion: Ask yourself what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Then say that to yourself.
• Focus on presence, not perfection: The quality of your presence, not the quantity of your performance, is what leaves the deepest impact.
• Return to your values: Instead of chasing external standards, ask what matters most to you and your family. Let that guide your next steps.

As psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy states, “Repair is the heart of secure attachment. It’s not about never messing up. It’s about showing our kids that relationships can handle rupture and come back stronger.”

If you’ve been feeling like you’re failing, this is an invitation to reframe that belief. The very fact that you are reflecting, reading, and caring enough to grow speaks volumes. You are not failing, you are engaging. And engagement, not perfection, is the hallmark of effective, connected parenting.

I’ve written this before, but I’ll write it again. Your children do not need a perfect parent. They need a present one! One who models humility, repair, love, and growth. Every time you return after a misstep, you are building a stronger, more resilient connection with your child.

Good enough really is enough, and often, it’s exactly what your child needs most.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva