Why young men need older men to lean on.

A month before my dad left, he took this picture of mum and we four boys. We look so ill-prepared for the storm that was coming. I’m the older one in the jeans and blue shirt.

This one caught me by surprise: In the past two years as my son has reached the age of 18, I have struggled with figuring out how to “dad” him well in this time of his life.

He’s not off the rails, he’s kind, he’s quietish, and he’s at that point in his life where, as with all young adults, he is looking to individuate.

But I’ve felt a bit becalmed in some of the more complex times I have felt backward in coming forward with direction or advice for him.

And here’s why: I have nothing in my memory bank of how my own father “dadded” me when I was in that just-finished-school period of my life.

Why? Because my dad left when I was just finished school. He was gone during an important pivot point.

I don’t have that reflexive “What would my dad have done?” Or more to the point, “What did my dad do?”

Well apart from leave the family (don’t worry we have sorted this out and forgiveness and restoration took place before he died), I don’t have much to go on!

I want to lean into the positive patterns my father laid down (or perhaps even negatively as is often the case for the Gen X types such as myself) lean away from the negative patterns.

But there’s nothing there. So I feel a bit like it’s flying solo.

Of course I have a daughter and she is now 25 and a complete delight. But a daughter was a different experience. For my son, I’m making stuff up on the fly because nothing was passed on to me by my dad.

How do we mentor young men?

This is not a pity party. It’s a way of saying that many men my age (I’m 60 next year and an older Gen X), have had the same discombobulating experience. How do we “dad” during the pivot points of our sons’ lives?

It would appear with the number of young men – 18-25 – seeking solace in Stoicism or Jordan Peterson, that there is a deficit in their lives too. Happy for them to go to those places for advice.

Not so happy when they turn to the Nick Fuentes of this world, or even the Tucker Carlsons – who himself is proving less of a dad and more a crazy uncle sitting in the corner chair foaming obscenities at various passersby.

Many more young men are reaching the pivot points in life without a father (or else they have two mothers) and it is taking a chunk out of them. They’re either becalmed or misbehaving.

Of course this is an opportunity for the church as the household of God to think through how it might get alongside such young men. Can the older men in the church take the younger under the wing at times such as this?

We read the household codes in the New Testament about how redeemed relationships work. Titus 2:2 states: “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.”

But younger men won’t learn those things by osmosis. Left with a vacuum that many of them are experiencing, other things will fill that void. The online world is not particularly sober-minded, dignified or self-controlled.

Older men – if you want to see the generation of lost boys take the baton from you, then you might need to lean in a little more.

What about inviting young men who have never had a meal around a table, to have a meal around your table, with your family? Model that life to them. Show them the mini-sacrifices, mini-agitations, mini-sanctification moments that no “Tidy Your Room!” moment can actually do.

What about meeting with the older men at church and establishing relationships with the younger men that go beyond the men’s breakfast twice a year at church? Put together an inventory of who you can pray for, who you can meet up with, who you can help with the life skills that you have.

To be honest, you can do that even for those young men who do have good, available dads. We don’t have all of the gifts. Share them around and ensure a well-rounded cohort of next generation Christian young men.

I thank God for the older men who did input into my life during my self-declared “lost years” (18-25). I think of the older Dutch man (a friend of a school friend), who though not a Christian, helped me learn to drive, and encouraged me.

I think of one or two other men who always checked in with a phone call, or chatted with me after church to see how I was tracking.

I don’t want the father-absence, and the long tail of consequences it brings, to be the new normal in the lives of young men. Sometimes we don’t truly know what we are missing until it is recovered.

I believe that as the church leans into this pressing cultural issue, and at a time when the default position of the secular world is that young men start off in deficit mode (toxic masculinity until proven otherwise), we will begin to make a difference.

Article supplied with thanks to Stephen McAlpine

About the Author: Stephen has been reading, writing and reflecting ever since he can remember. A former church pastor, he now trains church and ministry leaders, and in his writing dabbles in a number of fields, notably theology and culture.

Feature image: Supplied

Why journaling your God conversations can change everything.

How do you maintain an ongoing conversation with God?

Let’s get practical for a moment. Hearing God’s voice is only part of the story. The real key is doing what the Spirit says– and that’s often the hard part.

Partly, it’s because we forget. Our God conversations become a fleeting moment in the day, and soon after, as the distractions and busyness of life crowd in, we’ve lost what the Spirit said.

Humanity has always been this way

I think that’s why God kept telling the prophets: write it down.

God said it to Moses. To Jeremiah. To Isaiah. To Habakkuk… “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.” (Habakkuk 2:2)

Why would God say this?

So that we can run with what God said… so we can actually do it.

Words that don’t return empty

God’s words are sent to have an impact on our lives. They’re full of power and authority as well as God’s character qualities such as love, hope, peace. They’re also full of God’s creativity and the ability to bring themselves to pass.

The prophet Isaiah described it this way: God’s words don’t return empty. Like rain and snow falling from heaven, they water the earth and make it flourish before they go back up. God’s words work the same way – they accomplish what God desires and achieve the purpose for which they were sent. (from Isaiah 55:10-11)

So hearing God isn’t just about having a nice experience with the Holy Spirit. It’s about being transformed from the inside out so that we become more like Jesus and more like ourselves. We need to let the words of God actually do their work in our hearts. And that takes more than a passing thought.

Eat the scroll

I love the imagery God gives the prophet Ezekiel. God tells him to write his words on a scroll…and then “eat them.” (Ezekiel 3:3)

So that’s exactly what Ezekiel did. He ate the scroll, and it tasted sweet as honey in his mouth.

It’s a strange picture, isn’t it? Imagine eating a scroll and trying to digest it. But God’s point is simple: take in the words you’ve been given until they become part of you.

Read them. Think about them. Meditate on them. Chew them over until you’ve fully taken them in. Don’t forget them. Let them change you – and do what they say.

God’s words are powerful. They cut through our sin and selfishness. They quietly, powerfully form God’s purpose in us – but only if we let them stay long enough to work.

Why writing it down matters

This is why it’s so helpful to write your God conversations down.

For some of us, that’s journaling in a book. For others, it’s a note on our phone. If you’re more visually minded, you might draw what God is showing you. However you do it – even if it’s just one word or one thought – don’t lose what God has spoken. Write it down. Draw the vision. Read it back again. Day after day, sit with it, digest it, until it becomes part of who you are.

Article supplied with thanks to God Conversations.

About the Author: Tania Harris is a pastor, speaker, author and the founder of God Conversations.

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How a workout group became a pathway to faith.

Many people go to the gym with a goal in mind. To get stronger, to release stress, to train for sport. But what if your workout could strengthen more than your body? What if it could deepen your faith too? Fitness and faith might seem an unlikely pairing, but they actually have more similarities than we realise. Nick Danev, a Melbourne-based health and fitness coach and Owen Hone, a men’s coach and personal branding strategist, discuss Gym Church and share how God is not just reaching people in seats on Sunday, but in between sets too.

Gym Church is a movement that started as a small group of friends training together and reading the Bible that is now reaching thousands across Australia and beyond. Nick shared, “Gym Church has become a bridge for many people that would never, ever set foot in a normal church.”

How Did Gym Church Start?

Gym Church started from humble beginnings. “[We] just wanted to train with each other,” Nick shared. “We wanted to deepen our faith and connect with other brothers.” It began with just a few men with a willingness to train their bodies and their hearts for Jesus.

What started as a small group of friends quickly became hundreds of regular attenders. But Nick and Owen continue to give the glory back to God. “We just know that this has been breathed by God, because we can’t take credit for this really at all,” Nick shared.

As interest in the group grew, they opened it to women. Now Gym Church runs on a simple rhythm the pair call the “Trinity effect”: exhaust the body, tame the mind and be filled with the Holy Spirit. And as they train together, they are building a Christ-centred community united by faith and shared purpose.

A Bridge to Church, Not a Replacement for It

Gym Church is not meant to take the place of a church service. Instead, it serves as a vessel to bring people into church. “We have specifically avoided the Sunday, we do not want to compete with the church,” Nick said. “We’ve always said that we are the bridge for the church. We want to bring people to church.”

Through movements like Gym Church, conversations around Christianity can be brought into places where they might not otherwise happen. As Owen puts it, “It’s that lower barrier for entry where they can come and get to encounter God. And then once God gets a hold of them, well, He takes care of the rest.”

The Ache a Workout Can’t Fix

Nick’s own story is part of why Gym Church exists. He grew up without a father figure, and he found himself seeking that kind of love from other men. That search led him into drug and alcohol addiction and severe depression. A friend who had turned his own life around kept inviting him to church, and Nick kept saying no. Then one desperate day, he said yes. “I received and felt the love from other people that I never have ever felt in my life,” he said. “I felt the love of the Father for the very first time. And from that moment, I just was completely changed.”

Owen describes the same emptiness in different words. “It’s like a jigsaw puzzle piece. You can try and stuff drugs, alcohol, sport, business in there, but until you find God and you put Him there, nothing will replace it.” Nothing else but God can satisfy. Not even a gym program. That’s why both men are so eager to lead other people back to the love they have found in Jesus.

The Hunger for Community

Owen believes the appeal of Gym Church says something about where people are at right now. “There’s two things that people absolutely need, and that is God and that is community,” he said. “With social media and AI and everything going on, people went down that route, and now they’re realising they’re more disconnected than ever.” That craving for real, in-person connection, the kind where people can be honest about what they are struggling with and pray for one another, is exactly what keeps drawing people back week after week.

Jesus is the Ultimate Model of Strength

As many men grapple with messages that leave them feeling undervalued or directionless, some turn to toxic online communities in search of identity and belonging. Nick and Owen offer a different path, pointing men to Jesus as the truest model of authentic masculinity. “Jesus was the, we call it the hardest man to ever live,” Nick shared. “He was loving and caring. But He came to stand against the corruption and go against what was happening at the time.”

When our eyes are fixed on Jesus as the perfector of our faith, other pursuits begin to find their proper place. “Your body can be an expression to go and advance His kingdom and to serve people.” When we recognise that our bodies are temples of the living God, we can begin to work out physically what God is working in spiritually, as we “work out [our] salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

Hope for Every Empty Space

Gym Church proves something simple: when we open our lives to others and bring Jesus into the middle of it, ordinary places become sacred ones. For Nick and Owen, that looked like creating Gym Church. But for many of us, it might be bringing Jesus into our morning walk, a grocery run or even a weekly catch-up. None of these things seem especially spiritual on the surface, but they are often the places that people need Jesus the most.

You may not be called to start a movement like Gym Church, but you can create space for meaningful conversations wherever God has placed you. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to look beyond sets and reps and talk about the deeper things of life. More often than not, that’s where hope begins.

Article supplied with thanks to Vision – a non-profit, follower-funded Christian media ministry taking God’s Word to every corner of Australia and beyond through broadcast, online and print media.

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God wasn’t tired. So why did He rest?

Most of us can picture the creation story, but have you ever wondered why God rested on the seventh day? We read of the six days when God spoke light into darkness, separated the seas from the land, filled the sky with birds and created humanity in His own image. Then, almost as an afterthought, Genesis tells us that God rested on the seventh day.

Berni Dymet says we’ve often misunderstood this part of Genesis. We tend to assume God rested because He was exhausted, but the Bible reveals something quite different. God rested because His work was complete. When we truly understand the significance of the seventh day in Genesis, we see God’s character and His design for humanity in a brand-new light.

The Creation Story Doesn’t End With Adam and Eve

When we think about the climax of creation, we naturally assume it comes when God creates people. After all, humanity is made in His image and given the responsibility of caring for His creation.

But Genesis doesn’t stop there. Genesis 2:3 says, “Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy.” The seventh day isn’t just an appendix to creation. It’s woven into the story of creation, suggesting that it is just as important as everything that came before it.

God’s Rest Was Never About Being Tired

It’s easy to read our own experience into the text. Because we are human, our bodies require rest at the end of a long week. We’ve never experienced it any other way. So when we read of God resting on the seventh day, we assume it’s because He needs rest too.

But this is not the case. Psalm 121 reminds us that God “will neither slumber nor sleep,” making it clear that the Creator doesn’t become weary or run out of strength. If this is the truth, then why did God rest on the seventh day? If God wasn’t exhausted, then His rest must have meant something else.

Why Did God Rest on the Seventh Day?

Berni points out that before God rested, “God sat back to enjoy what He’d made. It wasn’t just good. It was very good.” His work was complete. Nothing needed improving, correcting or adding to it.

God’s rest wasn’t the rest of someone who had reached His limit. It was the rest of someone who had completed something perfect and stopped to enjoy it. He wasn’t recovering from creation. He was delighting in it.

Understanding this changes the way we see God’s character. The seventh day points us to a satisfied Creator who delights in the goodness of His finished work.

The First Thing God Made Holy

Genesis doesn’t say that Eden was holy. It doesn’t describe the rivers, the mountains or even Adam and Eve as holy. Instead, the first thing God sets apart as holy is a day.

Long before there was a temple, a nation of Israel or the command to keep the Sabbath, God built a rhythm of work and rest into creation itself. “The seventh day is a Sabbath day of solemn rest, holy to the Lord,” Berni shares. Rest wasn’t introduced because humanity was struggling to keep up. It was woven into the world from the very beginning.

Why Does This Matter Today?

We live in a culture that celebrates the hustle and bustle of life. It’s easy to believe our value comes from what we achieve, how productive we are or how much we can fit into a day. But the creation story invites us into something so much more worthwhile.

Why did God rest on the seventh day? He paused to delight in what He had made. Berni says, “There’s another dimension of rest, which is about enjoying our lives, enjoying the fruits of our labours, enjoying our relationships.”

That’s the invitation we find in Genesis. We can follow God’s example by weaving healthy rhythms of rest into our lives, taking time to enjoy His goodness and remembering that He is the One who sustains the world, not us.

Article supplied with thanks to Vision – a non-profit, follower-funded Christian media ministry taking God’s Word to every corner of Australia and beyond through broadcast, online and print media.

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‘The Chosen in the Wild’ revealed the surprising impact The Chosen has had on its cast, leading to honest conversations about faith and life.

“The wild does so much of my job for me,” Bear shares.

“It opens people up.”

Compared to the sanitised nature of a studio interview, climbing mountains, crossing rivers and sharing meals around a campfire allows people to slow down and speak more honestly.

“If you don’t rush them and let people kind of talk… before you know, you’re having really beautiful, honest, genuine conversations,” Bear said.

Taking the cast beyond their comfort zones

Across six episodes, cast members including Elizabeth Tabish, Jonathan Roumie, Noah James and The Chosen director Dallas Jenkins are parachuted out of helicopters, taught how to eat wild game and cross ravines while talking about life before and after The Chosen, and its profound impact on their personal lives.

“I just wasn’t prepared for the impact that this show has had on the lives of the people who play the characters,” Bear said.

“Many of them weren’t particularly big faith people before.

“Somehow this journey changed them and got into their hearts.

“There’s been a lot of emotion on The Chosen in the Wild. I wasn’t prepared for that, but I loved it.”

An earthy approach to faith

Longtime fans of Bear Grylls will know his own Christian faith has been a constant influence on his life, becoming an official ambassador for the Alpha Course in 2016 and just last year releasing The Greatest Story Ever Told, a retelling of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.

One of Bear’s goals with The Chosen in the Wild was to show how “earthy” faith can be, and how it exists outside the constraints of traditional church environments.

“It doesn’t have to always be churchy and religious, but it’s there to help you through the battles,” Bear said.

“Christ has been a good compass for me.”

The right time to talk about faith

Bear thinks “it’s the right time” to talk more about his faith, and that fans of The Chosen will appreciate the depth of the new show.

“The audience for The Chosen in the Wild want me to go there a bit more,” Bear said.

“It’s been a privilege to [make the show] and I’m excited for people to watch it.”

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

About the Author: Laura Bennett is a media professional, broadcaster and writer from Sydney, Australia.

Feature image: Screenshot of The Chosen in the Wild with Bear Grylls | Official Cover – Amazon Prime

The benefits of getting back to basics and focusing on what truly matters.

Our lives have become so busy and full of clutter that people often feel overwhelmed despite trying many complicated solutions and self-help fads.​ Adrian Munro from Richmind WA sees a simpler path to well-being.

Marriage and Family First

Adrian views relationships as concentric circles, with his wife and kids at the very centre. These closest relationships deserve the bulk of available time and energy outside of work. He and his wife are both reading books to focus on a flourishing marriage, while he also reads about parenting boys to be more deliberate and proactive.​

Friendships Take Intention

Beyond immediate family, friendships and community connections matter for emotional health. Lives can become busy on autopilot, leading to social isolation despite surface-level activity or online contacts. Being deliberate about real, face-to-face connections helps build the flourishing relationships everyone needs.​

Choosing Who Shapes Your Life

The outer circles include extended family, community friends, and more distant work acquaintances. Sometimes busyness with outer circles crowds out time for those closest in. Many people also carry fractured relationships in inner circles, but Adrian empathises with that pain while noting pathways back are often possible.​

Keep Learning, Keep Growing

Adrian invests in being the best husband and father he can be, knowing strong marriage and family ties will feel most meaningful later in life. Becoming so busy that priorities get skewed happens easily when saying yes to every catch-up. Proactive steps like reading and planning keep those key relationships healthy.​

Factors like financial stress, technology and busyness add clutter that harms wellbeing.

Takeaway: Back to Basics

Adrian’s challenge is to find ways to declutter time, money, technology and relationships. Ask yourself:

• Who are the friends and family lifting me up?
• Where can I invest more time and attention?
• What is one small way I can be a better spouse, parent, relative or friend?

Simple, timeless principles like prioritising family, slowing down, and building community lead to lives that truly flourish.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

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Or what happens to a voice artist if their voice is cloned and used without their permission?

It seems like every day there is another news headline or technological advancement about the emergence of artificial intelligence. We are bombarded with new AI developments, technology warnings and predictions about what the future might look like. With so much information coming at us, it can be difficult to know what role AI should play in our lives, especially when it begins touching something as personal as our human identity.

For Christian voice actor Colin Cassidy, this is something that has become increasingly real in his career. Colin shared how his voice was allegedly cloned and used without his permission after years of work building his career as a professional voice artist. “It was so good they stole it,” Colin said with a laugh.

Colin said his experience highlights a growing cultural shift that affects far more than actors, musicians or public figures. As artificial intelligence becomes increasingly capable of replicating voices and personal characteristics, many are asking where the line should be drawn.

When AI Copies Human Identity

Have you ever had someone steal something that belonged to you? Maybe it was food, clothing or even a car. But what about your voice? What about your face? What about the unique characteristics that make you who you are?

Many of us might not have to worry about this right now, but for actors like Colin this has become a challenge he cannot ignore any longer. “My identity has been stolen,” he said.

The concern isn’t just that AI can mimic a human voice, but that something that is intrinsically human and personal to us can be copied, monetised and distributed without consent. “All those sorts of little human touches that we pull on from our soul and our memory and our life,” Colin said.

While actors like Colin are facing the brunt of this challenge right now, it begins to raise significant questions for us too. How far should AI be allowed to imitate what makes us human? And who exactly is vulnerable to it in the future?

Why Christians Should Pay Attention to AI

But beyond the technological challenges, this issue reveals a deeper truth that has been around since the beginning of creation.

The Bible teaches that human beings are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Our identity is not something we created ourselves. It’s a gift from our Creator.

The way you speak to others, how you carry yourself, your laugh, the way you greet people. These are all personal to you because God created you to be that way.

“We speak things into being in the Bible,” Colin said. “The whole world and universe was spoken into being. So, our voice is pretty special from a Christian’s perspective.”

When technology treats our God-given human identity as raw material to be copied and commercialised, Christians should at least pause and consider the implications.

More Than a Technological Problem

It is important to understand that technology itself is not evil. Throughout history, new technologies have improved lives, advanced medicine and expanded opportunities. However, as Christians we must approach these technological advancements with wisdom and discernment.

“We’re at a foundational time right now,” Colin shared. “It’s not about me… It’s about the future of other generations.” The decisions being made today will shape the way future generations understand privacy and where their identity comes from.

Remembering Where Our Human Identity Comes From

In today’s day and age, these conversations will continue to circulate, but they do not have to define us. Our identity is not found in our appearance, our voice, our talents or even our profession. It is found in Christ.

AI may be able to imitate a voice. It may be able to replicate an image. It may even become increasingly convincing at mimicking human behaviour. But it cannot recreate a person made in the image of God. It cannot replicate an authentic relationship with Jesus.

And it cannot replace the unique purpose God has given you.

As artificial intelligence continues to reshape our culture, we have an opportunity to bring a needed Christian perspective to the conversation. We can embrace technology without surrendering our understanding of what it means to be human.

Because our voices are more than digital assets to be copied and sold. They are part of the unique gifts God has entrusted to us.

Article supplied with thanks to Vision – a non-profit, follower-funded Christian media ministry taking God’s Word to every corner of Australia and beyond through broadcast, online and print media.

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Imagine walking for 7 hours each day in the scorching heat just to collect water.

My own two children are grown up now, but I’m constantly reminded of just how beautifully chaotic, exhausting, and all-consuming those early years of parenting are when spending time with our grandkids

These days, my wife and I get the joy of being Ma and Pa to our daughter’s two-year-old son and twin baby daughters. Whenever I visit them, my heart is reminded of how fragile, precious, and completely dependent little children are on us to keep them safe.

Each morning, I watch Harmony in the kitchen making her girls’ bottles or filling up her son’s drink bottle. She turns the tap on, water flows instantly, and she fills the kettle or drink bottle and moves on to the next task.

Which is why when I went to Tanzania, the different reality for mothers hit home.

Thinking back on my trip…

Visiting a school in the region of Simanjiro, I’m surrounded by dry, dusty earth under a blazing sun. And as a grandfather, my heart is heavy with a contrast that I just can’t shake.

[Photo of Joel A’Bell in Simanjiro, Tanzania with two yellow jerry cans] 

Here I’m holding two yellow jerry cans.  The type you might find in your local Bunnings. Empty, they weigh next to nothing. But filled up? They hold 20 litres of water each. That’s about 20 kilos I’m holding in each hand. 

As a grown man, I can lift these. But imagine a young mother or girl, maybe the same age as your daughter or granddaughter, carrying that crushing weight. 

Worse yet, imagine the distance she must walk each day to bring water home for her family. 

I met a mother named Nangida who walks ten kilometres twice a day to the nearest source of water.  The journey is hard, with a baby on her back and a toddler whose little legs can’t keep up.  She relies on her eight-year-old daughter Sophie to help, feeling guilty that she misses school because of it.  

[Nangida (above) walks ten kilometres twice a day with her children to collect water.] 

Think about that for a moment. To get enough water just to survive, Nangida and her children are walking up to 7 hours a day in the scorching heat. To get water that they need to survive, but that could also make them sick. 

The community here is incredibly resilient. Like my daughter, Nangida has dreams for her children’s future. 

Harmony wants her children to learn, play and grow. The families here want the exact same thing. They don’t want handouts; they simply want access to water so they drink, cook food and grow crops for themselves. They want their daughters to stay in the classroom, not walk half the day for water that isn’t even safe to drink. 

It feels overwhelming, doesn’t it? But the solution is simple. 

When a community gets access to clean water right where they live, the cycle of poverty breaks instantly: 

• Young girls can drop the heavy jerry cans and stay in school to get an education. 

• Children no longer get sick or die from water filled with bacteria and parasites. 

• Families can start farming, planting crops, and generating an income. 

Let’s use what we have been given to give these children the future they deserve. You can donate here.

Article supplied with thanks to Convoy of Hope

National Director, Convoy of Hope Australia and New Zealand

Feature image: Supplied

Why being heard matters more than we realise.

Most people have experienced the feeling of speaking while having a sense that they are not truly being listened to. The words seem to fall to the ground, and the conversation can feel almost like it’s one-sided. It is an experience that is often painful. But why?

The answer extends beyond simple frustration. In those moments, the mind is often trying to make sense of what it is experiencing. Thoughts may emerge such as, Maybe I’m not very interesting. Others may interpret the experience as disrespectful. Alternatively, there may be recognition that the other person is distracted by something unrelated to the conversation.

These different interpretations reflect more than individual thinking styles. They point towards a common human need: the desire to be heard, understood, and accepted. Psychological research consistently suggests that people have a fundamental need to belong and feel connected with others. When someone listens with genuine attention, it communicates, Your thoughts matter. You matter. Conversely, feeling ignored can create a sense of disconnection, regardless of whether the other person’s inattention was conscious or not.

The opposite experience can be profoundly powerful. Being listened to without judgement, assumptions, or the immediate urge to offer solutions often creates a sense of being genuinely known. Research on therapeutic relationships has repeatedly shown that feeling understood and emotionally validated can assist in reducing distress. Often, the simple experience of being heard is more healing than receiving advice.

Ideas to support feeling heard

Cultivating these experiences begins with recognising that not every relationship has the same capacity for emotional connection. Some people consistently demonstrate empathy and attentiveness, while others may struggle to offer these qualities for a variety of reasons. Investing in relationships that have shown the capacity for genuine listening is more likely to foster meaningful connection.

There are also seasons when finding someone who feels safe to talk to can be difficult. In those moments, patience and self-compassion become important. Deep relationships often develop gradually rather than after one or two conversations.

Equally important is the opportunity to become the kind of listener that many people long for. Genuine listening involves giving full attention, seeking to understand before responding, and resisting the impulse to immediately solve the problem. More often than not, people first need to feel understood before they are ready to consider advice.

Being heard is a powerful human experience. It strengthens connection, supports self-worth, and lets people know that they do not have to carry life’s challenges alone. It is both a gift to receive and one to be given, creating greater belonging and meaning in everyday life.

The Centre for Effective Living is an award-winning Psychology and Well-Being practice serving the Upper North Shore of Sydney.

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5 keys to growing – or rebuilding – your self-worth

A healthy sense of self-worth requires us to understand our inherent value. We can build up our self worth with practices such as gratitude, self care, and resisting comparison. These are the key takeaways discussed with founding board member of RUOK?  Graeme Cowan, psychologist Collett Smart, and disability parenting advocate Hannah Gair.

If your sense of self-worth has been damaged, the good news is that it can be rebuilt, through some simple daily practices.

This is the big take-home about how we can best understand our self-worth:

1 – Treat Yourself As You Would Treat a Friend

Having self-worth is not about being self-absorbed, selfish or narcissistic, says Graeme. It’s “believing in your inherent value, and knowing that you’re ‘okay’, regardless of your achievements.”

It’s also about compassion: “Talking to ourselves how we talk to a friend if they’re going through similar circumstances”, or, as Collett Smart adds, “Seeing yourself in the way that someone who deeply loves you would see you.”

2 – Practise Self-Care

Graeme, who has written a number of books on mental heath and delivered hundreds of keynote addresses, says a damaged self-worth can be rebuilt, starting with self care.

“Self care isn’t selfish,” says Graeme. “If we don’t have fuel in our own tank, we can’t help other people. [Self care is] doing things which are good for our physical health, like good exercise, good sleep, intimacy; our emotional health; and our prosperity, which is what I call ‘career wellbeing’, where we have a sense of purpose.”

3 – Choose Gratitude

All three panelists include gratitude as one way of showing our self-worth. Research shows that gratitude creates healthy new pathways in the brain.

“Writing down three things each day you’re grateful for could have a sustained impact and benefit to our self worth,” says Graeme.

Hannah Gair, host of the StrongHERside podcast for mothers of children with disabilities, says gratitude can particularly help those whose sense of identity has been buried by life’s challenges.

4 – Focus on Strengths, Not Failures

A focus on failure will quickly erode how you feel about yourself. Instead, build your sense of worth by focusing on your strengths says Hannah.

“We all have failures,” says Collett. “I think it’s about looking at, what are the strengths that I’ve been given, that I can use to bring joy into my life, and others. Often, when we build others up, or we give to communities, that’s actually when we see our own self worth improve.”

 5 – Resist Comparison

Hannah’s strong advice is to “stop the comparison game.”

“When we are practicing comparison, we’re telling ourselves that we aren’t enough,” she says. “Replace it with the truth to say, in fact, we actually are enough.”

Article supplied with thanks to Helping Hands TV.

About the Author: Helping Hands is an Australian produced TV program that airs on 9GEM, Channel 9 and 9NOW, and showcases people and organisations who make the world a better place.

Feature image: Canva