Pastor Phil Ayres lists the important aspects we should consider when we are looking for a partner later in life.

In later years we can gain wisdom, but we can also close ourselves off to new experiences or relationships. Pastor Phil explained the importance of approaching a new partnership with contingencies.

Phil shared his first points in part one of the discussion:

1. Emotional Readiness and Healing

2. Shared Faith and Core Values

3. Health and Lifestyle Compatibility

In part two of his talk, Phil outlined the final points of his considerations:

4. Honesty and Communication

“You develop a lifestyle pattern that’s a lot more entrenched than when you’re younger and you start the journey in a brand-new sort of a way,” he began.

He explained that the impact of starting this journey together spans beyond the couple, because oftentimes that couple have their own children, grandchildren and entire family systems to consider.

“And I think the principle of transparency to build trust is so important,” said Pastor Phil.

He mentioned the term ‘primary allegiance’ when referring to blending the families in order to consider everyone’s best interest. 

“For your marriage to thrive, you must give primary allegiance to your spouse and make that person number one in the life and the building that you have with agreements in place,” he said, 

The Key is Communication

“If you don’t communicate well on the expectations, you’ll disintegrate the family potentially.”

There is a separate legacy for a person in their senior years and Pastor Phil noted the importance of honouring the generations a person may have built and the inheritance that comes with it, highlighting a verse in Proverbs.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22

“In other words,” he explained, “We need to talk through this and get advice get input and have wisdom in the steps we’re taking.”

5. Community and Family Support

Some couples can be met with resistance from children or extended family who don’t want their parent or relative to remarry. 

“There should be an opportunity for everyone one to experience that, and we shouldn’t be afraid of that relationship,” said Pastor Phil, noting that it is always important to talk about it. 

6. Patience and God’s Timing

1 Corinthians 13 captures the essence of true love, said Pastor Phil.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. – 1 Corinthians 13:4

“I would encourage senior people to be patient, take things step by step and have wisdom. Now, love doesn’t have an age limit and the desire of love is incredible,” he continued.

He referenced Song of Solomon 8:6:

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. – Song of Solomon 8:6

“It is so powerful, such a need and a drive in our heart,” with reference to Ecclesiastes he said, “The timing of God is so beautifully when the individual will allow that to work with the situation they’re in.”

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Pastor Phil concluded with a summary of intimacy and what that can look like in later years.

“Every type of intimacy can be experienced in a relationship apart from, in a marriage context, sexual intimacy,” he continued, “And obviously that’s the privilege, that’s the God design of married relationships… But it doesn’t mean your life stops before you’re married.”

Pastor Phil encouraged those waiting and building relationships to make the moments count and treat the relationship with the respect it deserves.

“You can build rich, beautiful, amazing intimacy and allow that marriage to be the icing on the cake when the time comes,” he concluded.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

Self-identity is how we see and understand ourselves—knowing who we are, what we believe in, and how we feel about ourselves.

Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology explains that a stable self-identity links to better mental health, a stronger sense of belonging, and validation from others. Friends play a key role in this by providing acceptance and a space to explore personal growth.

Friends and family shape self-identity through belonging and roles. The people we choose to surround ourselves with offer acceptance, which builds a positive self-image and reinforces core values. Family roles—like being a mum, sibling, or older sister—start this process early, evolving into social groups as we age, such as sporty or academic circles where we take on roles like leader or mediator.

Friends as Mirrors

Friends act as mirrors reflecting our inner selves. Consider five people you feel strongly about: what do you admire, share in common, or find irritating? Admiration often highlights traits you’re proud of or aspire to. Common ground validates your current values and sense of belonging. Irritation signals opposites to your values—what you don’t want to become.​

Different friends naturally bring out different personality sides, showing adaptability rather than inauthenticity. If your friends don’t align with how you see yourself, it can feel confusing. Choosing who to hang out with matters: surround yourself with those who make your identity feel balanced and true.

Parenting and Guiding Kids

Parents can gently guide children toward positive self-views by staying curious about their friendships. Ask what they like about these friends and what sides of themselves emerge. Friends help kids explore personality facets and decide what they want to become. Encourage meaningful interactions that build a strong personal identity.​

Susan reminds us that choosing surroundings thoughtfully foster mental wellbeing. By reflecting on our “mirrors” and roles, we discover more about ourselves and grow authentically.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

Let’s be honest, every couple has those moments. You know the ones: the eye roll, the snappy comment, the awkward silence over dinner, or the late-night standoff where no one wants to be the first to speak.

Yes, conflict happens. But here’s the good news: it’s not the argument that determines the health of your marriage, it’s the repair that comes after it.

According to Dr John Gottman, the ability to make and receive repair attempts is one of the strongest predictors of long-term relationship success. In other words, it’s not about fighting less, it’s about reconnecting better.

So if things got heated, distant, or just plain uncomfortable, here’s your roadmap back to each other.

What’s a Rupture?

In psychology terms, a rupture is a moment of emotional disconnection. It could be a sarcastic jab, a raised voice, a shutdown or withdrawal, or even something unspoken, like feeling unseen or dismissed.

These small breaks in connection, when left unrepaired, can start to feel like cracks in the foundation. But when we choose to repair, we reinforce trust, emotional safety, and intimacy.

As Dr Sue Johnson says, “Conflict is the price we pay for deeper connection.”

Think of repair as your relationship’s emotional first aid. It’s not a fix-all, but it prevents little hurts from becoming lasting wounds.

Dr Gottman’s research shows that successful repair attempts, no matter how awkward or imperfect, help couples de-escalate tension and restore connection. These moments reinforce a powerful message: “We may argue, but we’re still for each other.”

It’s not about getting it perfectly right. It’s about choosing to come close again.

Five Steps to Repair After a Rupture

1. Pause Before You Pounce

You may want to resolve things immediately, but if you’re still emotionally flooded—your heart racing, your thoughts spiralling, it’s better to pause.

Research shows it takes around 20 minutes for the nervous system to return to a calm state. Taking space to breathe or reset isn’t avoiding the issue; it’s creating the conditions for meaningful repair. You’re not avoiding. You’re choosing presence over reaction.

2. Own Your Part (Without the Scorecard)

This isn’t about taking all the blame. It’s about modelling emotional responsibility. Even small acknowledgements can shift the tone from defensive to open.

Try something like, “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I was frustrated, but I want to understand what you were feeling.” Ownership opens the door to mutual repair. Defensiveness shuts it. 

As Brené Brown says, “Accountability is the birthplace of connection.”

3. Empathy Over Explanation

Resist the urge to defend your actions or explain them away. What your partner often needs most is to feel heard and understood.

Validation doesn’t mean you agree, it means you’re willing to enter their experience.

Instead of “That’s not what I meant,” try, “I can see why that hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, but I understand how it landed.” When people feel seen, they soften. Empathy heals more than logic ever could.

4. Reaffirm the Relationship

Once the tension settles and emotions are acknowledged, offer gentle reassurance. This helps rebuild emotional safety and restores trust.

Try saying, “We’re on the same team,” or “I don’t want this to come between us.”

These reminders signal that even though you’ve had conflict, the bond is intact. The relationship is safe, and you’re choosing to lean in rather than pull away.

5. Reflect and Learn

When things calm down, use the conflict as an opportunity to grow together. Ask questions like, “What triggered this for us?” or “What do you need from me next time?”

Healthy relationships aren’t built on avoiding conflict. They’re built on learning from it.

Every rupture is a chance to build a deeper understanding and prevent the same patterns from repeating.

No marriage is conflict-free. That’s not the goal. The goal is to create a relationship where repair is possible, where disconnection doesn’t last long, and where both partners know how to come back to each other.

The next time things feel tense or tender, take a breath, take ownership, and take the first step back toward connection. You don’t need perfect words. You just need a willing heart.

Because in the end, it’s not about never hurting each other, it’s about knowing how to say, “I’m sorry. Let’s try again.”

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva

I’ve lived in the same street for thirteen years now. One of the nice outcomes of this is that, whenever I leave the house, there’s always someone to say hello to.

There’s Lisa who runs the hairdressers, James who runs the launderette, and then. . . there’s Dave. Bearing a striking resemblance to Homer Simpson (a comparison he himself makes), Dave has taken it upon himself to be the neighbourhood entertainer. He puts signs on the street saying, “Honk if you’re happy!” He once put a manikin on the footpath holding a mirror with a sign that said, “You look lovely today!” Most afternoons Dave brings out his Bluetooth boombox and plays Bruce Springsteen at full volume—a gift many neighbours are yet to appreciate.

Meet Dave

Dave has a big heart, a big laugh, and is always ready with an opinion. So when I saw him a while back, I shouldn’t have been surprised when he looked me up and down and said, “You’ve put on weight!” I stumbled to reply. “I, I guess I have,” I said. Then he added, “As you were walking up, I thought to myself, There’s a man who’s gained some kilos.” You’ve got to love a neighbourhood where people recognise your face and your BMI.

“You’ve put on weight!” – Dave, neighbour

For the record, I don’t think it’s wise to comment on your neighbour’s weight! But there was something refreshing about Dave’s words. Politeness doesn’t serve us well when there are truths we need to hear, and research shows we’re not always great at telling them. One of the interesting discoveries from our 1100-respondent Friendship Lab Survey was that when a friendship breaks down, the cause is rarely discussed. Whether it’s unhealthy choices, annoying habits, or just the fact the new haircut doesn’t work, we need someone who’ll tell us the truth.

Truth with Love

The apostle Paul has some helpful advice on how to do this, telling us to “Speak the truth in love.” Speaking the truth requires getting brave and saying what needs to be said instead of hiding behind politeness or false flattery. The in love bit includes picking the right time and delivering the truth kindly, with the other person’s best interests at heart. This also says to me that when I’m on the receiving end, I should hear the truth in love too—listening humbly, rather than getting defensive.

Walking away from Dave, I checked my reflection in the window and had to admit he was right. I’d let the exercise slip. I’d lost track of my calories. I’d feel better losing a few kilos. The diet started the following Monday. And the next time Springsteen blasts across the street, well. . . it might just be my turn to speak the truth in love.

Article supplied with thanks to Sheridan Voysey.

About the Author: Sheridan Voysey is an author and broadcaster on faith and spirituality. His latest book is called Reflect with Sheridan. Download his FREE inspirational printable The Creed here.

Feature image: Canva

Relationships Coach Pastor Phil Ayres, unpacks a topic that many singles wrestle with – how to create healthy, realistic expectations when dating.

The conversation shone a light on the deeper work required to build strong, lasting relationships.

Why Realistic Expectations Matter

Pastor Phil launched straight into it: dating gets complicated when emotions run high. When you’re attracted to someone, he explained, “you’re love drunk.” Chemistry intensifies, dopamine surges, and suddenly every red flag starts looking like a quirky bonus.

He reminded listeners that this early stage – often called the infatuation phase – can completely distort your perspective. Because of that, you might be tempted to place your partner on a pedestal and believe they can do no wrong.

However, Phil encouraged daters to stay grounded. “They’re a normal human being,” he said. “And you’re putting them in the place of God if you expect perfection.”

By staying anchored in God’s love, he added, you can enjoy the excitement of early romance without losing sight of reality.

Step One: Avoid Putting Your Partner on a Pedestal

As the team discussed, infatuation makes small flaws look endearing, at least at first. But unrealistic perfection creates unfair pressure on your partner and eventually leads to disappointment.

Pastor Phil explained that a healthier approach recognises both the strengths and imperfections of the other person. “The higher you put them,” he said, “the harder you fall.”

Instead, he encouraged listeners to stay emotionally sober, grounded in faith, and mindful that no partner can meet every need.

Step Two: Communicate Your Expectations Clearly

Transitions in a relationship often expose unspoken expectations. Whether it’s the early dating stage or the moment kids enter the picture, assumptions can quickly cause friction.

Phil emphasised the importance of speaking openly about what you want rather than hoping the other person magically understands. “Don’t assume they know,” he warned. “Communicate clearly.”

Bec shared how she and her husband had to revisit their expectations after welcoming children. Their story highlighted how communication must grow and shift as relationships evolve.

Step Three: Address Conflict When It Appears

When Asa asked how singles can even identify what expectations they should have, Pastor Phil offered simple, practical wisdom: pay attention to conflicts.

“Look for the areas where differences appear,” he said. “And when they do, don’t avoid them. Discuss them.”

Instead of trying to predict every issue upfront, Phil encouraged couples to work through challenges as they come. Facing disagreements with honesty and courage lays the foundation for a stronger connection.

Step Four: Offer Grace – Because No One Is Perfect

As the conversation deepened, Pastor Phil highlighted the transformative power of grace. Both partners are human. Both are learning. And both will mess up at times.

“Real love grows in patience and forgiveness,” he said. The imperfections and moments of tension often create opportunities to bond more deeply.

Bec pointed out that overcoming hurdles together can actually strengthen the relationship – proving you can face difficulties with humility and teamwork.

Asa echoed the reminder that ego often stands in the way, prompting Pastor Phil to quote Ephesians: “Be humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Building Love That Lasts

Active communication, humility, grace, and spiritual grounding – these ingredients help couples navigate dating with wisdom and confidence.

Pastor Phil wrapped up the discussion by reminding listeners that expectations don’t just affect dating; they shape marriages too. Setting fair expectations early can lead to contentment and peace rather than pressure and disappointment.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

When the kids move out or grow up, it can feel like both a relief and a reckoning.

You’ve spent years tag-teaming homework, sports drop-offs, sleepless nights, and busy weekends. But now that the house is quieter, what’s left between you?

Here’s the beautiful truth: once the rush of raising children slows down, you get a chance to remember (and rebuild) the “us” that started it all.

Whether you’ve been married 10 years or 40, keeping the spark alive doesn’t mean trying to be 25 again. It means leaning into a deeper connection that’s less about butterflies, and more about belonging.

Studies show that life transitions, like retirement, children leaving home, or caring for aging parents, can either strengthen a marriage or expose the cracks.

According to The Gottman Institute, friendship is the foundation of lasting love, especially in later stages of marriage. And research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who intentionally invest in their relationship post-childrearing experience higher satisfaction, lower stress, and greater emotional intimacy.

So how do you move from “roommates” to reconnected?

5 Ways to Rekindle Connection in This Season

1. Make Time for Meaningful Moments (Not Just Tasks)

Now that life isn’t dictated by school timetables or sports carnivals, you actually have space. The question is, how will you use it?

You don’t need extravagant plans. Just regular, intentional time together.

• Morning coffee on the verandah
• A weekly walk or dinner date
• Rewatching your wedding video or photo album
• Talking about what you’re dreaming of next

2. Get Curious About Each Other Again

You’ve both changed since you first met. So ask questions with fresh eyes:

• What’s something you’d love to do in the next 5 years?
• What brings you joy now?
• What do you miss about how we used to connect?

A growing marriage is a curious one. When you stop assuming and start asking, you open the door to discovery.

3. Reignite Physical Affection

Physical intimacy changes with age, but that doesn’t mean it disappears. It just becomes more tender, more intentional, and sometimes….more creative.

Simple touch, like holding hands, slow dancing in the kitchen, or cuddling on the couch, releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone that promotes trust and connection.

4. Rebuild Shared Meaning

Your roles may have shifted, but your purpose as a couple hasn’t disappeared. What’s something you can build, enjoy, or give back to together?

• Volunteering
• Travelling
• Starting a side project
• Mentoring younger couples
• Hosting Sunday lunches

When couples dream together, they stay connected. The goal isn’t just filling the calendar, it’s finding shared meaning again.

5. Repair What’s Unspoken

Sometimes, the quiet that comes after the kids leave brings old hurts to the surface, unspoken tension, built-up resentment, or needs that were pushed aside during the busy years.

This isn’t something to fear. It’s an invitation to tend to what’s been left unsaid. Talk gently. Listen deeply. Say what needs to be said, with kindness, not blame. Seek support if you need it.

You’re not starting over. You’re starting from experience.

This is your chance to rediscover not just who your spouse is, but who you are together, beyond being parents or providers.

Because the best part of growing older together?

You already know how to endure storms, hold each other in the dark, and find laughter in the ordinary. Now, you get to choose each other again, with more intention, more freedom, and more grace. And maybe… that’s the real spark.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to overcomplicate life. But according to Adrian Munro, CEO of Richmind, the secret to well-being is simple: focus on the basics. “Fundamental truths haven’t changed over thousands of years,” Adrian explains. “It’s about doing the simple things right, day in and day out.”

Marriage and Family First

When it comes to relationships, Adrian believes your closest circle deserves top priority. “For me, my most important relationships are with my wife and kids,” he shared. “It’s about asking, how am I proactively investing in those relationships?”

Adrian compared it to maintaining a car. We service it, fuel it, and clean it. Yet, many people neglect regular investment in their families. “It’s not revolutionary,“ he said. “It’s about being deliberate in carving out time for your loved ones.”

From planning weekly schedules with his wife to chatting with his sons during school drop-offs, Adrian chooses intentional moments that build connection.

Friendships Take Work Too

Family isn’t the only priority. Friendships also play a vital role in mental health. “You’ve got to be really deliberate,” Adrian said. “Sometimes you don’t feel like showing up, but that’s where your friends are.”

He recalled nights when he didn’t feel like driving to play indoor cricket. But he went anyway because maintaining long-term friendships requires consistency and effort.

Strong friendships, he stressed, don’t happen by chance. “It doesn’t happen by mistake. It happens by investing time and being gracious when people annoy you.”

Choosing the Right People

Not every friendship is worth keeping. Adrian encouraged listeners to reflect on which relationships bring growth and which ones drain energy.

“In ten years, who do you want to be surrounded by?” he asked. “If a friendship isn’t leading you to flourish, maybe it’s not the right one.”

This intentional approach means letting go of unhealthy patterns while nurturing relationships that add value.

Keep Learning, Keep Growing

Adrian and his wife recently celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary. Despite nearly two decades together, they’re still learning.

“My boys asked, ‘Why are you reading a marriage book?’” Adrian laughed. “I told them, I just want to be a better husband.”

He believes growth comes from humility and constant learning. “When was the last time you read something to become a better spouse, parent, or friend?”

Relationships Protect Mental Health

At the heart of Adrian’s message is a reminder that relationships are more than emotional support, they protect mental health.

“There’s not many things better than having strong relationships around you,” he said. “They give you belonging, trust, and care.”

While mental health services remain vital, Adrian argued that prevention starts with community. “Close, trusted relationships are a great protective mechanism for our well-being.”

Takeaway: Back to Basics

So, what can you do differently this week? Adrian challenged listeners to reflect:

• Who are the friends and family lifting you up?
• Where can you invest more time?
• How can you be a better spouse, parent, or friend?

“Where we want everyone to be in 20 years,” Adrian concluded, “is saying, ‘I’ve invested in the right relationships.’”

Because at the end of the day, the basics love, time, trust, and consistency are what matter most.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva

Australia is facing what many describe as a loneliness epidemic, with a third of us reportedly feeling lonely and one in four of us experiencing chronic, severe loneliness.

Psychologist Rachel Harker, founder of dating app Tribal and its friendship offshoot Connect by Tribal, wanted to do something that addresses the widespread social disconnection.

“Loneliness does not just affect singles, it affects everyone,” Rachel said.

“Parents, professionals, retirees – all of us are vulnerable to feeling disconnected.”

We know technology is one of the biggest drivers of loneliness, but so too is our reduced ability to be linked in to in-person communities.

“Everyone is behind a screen for a large portion of the day,” Rachel said.

“And [the way] modern society runs is very individualistic.

“We don’t have that community vibe like we used to.”

Rather than rejecting technology altogether, Rachel’s approach is to reshape it.

“I took a step back and said, ‘how can we embrace technology because it’s where the world is going’, but use it in a much more positive way?” Rachel said.

That vision led to Connect by Tribal, a values-based friendship app that “matches” friends based on those values to encourage deeper and more lasting connections.

“We can have really different personalities, but if we’ve got that core aligned value, that’s the key,” Rachel said.

The app’s designed to help those friendships to translate into face-to-face spaces through its “community circles”.

“The [community circles] is a group chat feature where you can connect with users based on aligned interest or groups,” Rachel said.

“If you’re new to town, new parent, a pet lover, a foodie, you can connect and chat about that interest topic in particular.

“So it goes beyond just one-on-one conversations.”

Rachel hope for Australian’s feeling isolated is that her platform will provide safe, meaningful ways for people to find friendship and belonging.

“Swiping on a photo for a friend just didn’t sit well with me,” Rachel said.

“It doesn’t matter what our friends look like. True friendship is about personality and aligned interests.”

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Canva

You’re making dinner when your partner walks in and says, “Look at this funny video.” You nod vaguely but keep stirring the pot. You’re distracted, tired, thinking about what’s next.

What just happened? According to Dr. John Gottman, you may have missed a bid for connection, one of the most important building blocks in a healthy relationship.

In long-term love, it’s not the grand romantic gestures that keep couples close, it’s how they respond to each other’s small, everyday emotional needs.

A bid is any attempt to get attention, affection, or affirmation. It could be verbal (“How was your day?”), physical (a hand on your back), or even emotional (a sigh or a subtle glance).

It’s your partner saying, “Will you connect with me?” And every time you respond, you’re answering, “Yes, I see you, I’m here.”

In research conducted at The Gottman Institute, couples who stayed happily married over six years responded positively to their partner’s bids 86% of the time.

Those who divorced? Only 33% of the time. That’s not just significant—it’s staggering.

The Science Behind It

Neuroscience confirms what the research shows: human beings are wired for connection. When someone responds warmly to a bid, the brain releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), and over time, this strengthens emotional safety and trust.

Even a tiny gesture, like eye contact or a “tell me more”, can activate the brain’s reward system, reinforcing closeness.

But when bids are consistently ignored, dismissed, or rejected, the result is disconnection.

As psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson puts it, “Our deepest need is to know we’re emotionally safe and held. Without that, we don’t thrive.”

What Bids Sound Like

Bids for connection are everywhere, they’re just not always obvious. Here are a few examples:

• “Want to come with me to the shop?” → Bid for time together
• “Work was a lot today.” → Bid for emotional support
• “Did you see that article I sent?” → Bid for shared interest
• A shoulder rub, a joke, a random story → Bid for affection or attention

It’s easy to dismiss these moments as small talk or habit—but they’re actually sacred micro-moments that shape your emotional bond.

Why They’re Easy to Miss

Let’s be honest, life is full. Between kids, work, chores, and the never-ending mental to-do list, many couples go into survival mode. We get task-focused, not connection-focused. Phones, fatigue, and unspoken resentment can also make us tune out without meaning to. And sometimes, we’re not even aware that our partner is reaching for us.

But the more bids we miss, the more disconnected we feel. You don’t need to be a mind-reader. You just need to slow down and start noticing.

1. Tune In More Often

Look up when your partner speaks. Notice their tone, their eyes, their body language. Even a gentle “What’s up?” can invite more connection.

2. Respond, Even If It’s Small

You don’t have to launch into a long conversation every time. A nod, a smile, or “Thanks for sharing that with me” is often enough.

3. Ask Questions

If you’re not sure if something’s a bid, ask. “Do you want to talk about it?” or “Are you looking for advice or just someone to listen?”

4. Turn Toward, Not Away

Dr. Gottman’s research defines this as the habit of intimacy. Turning toward builds connection. Turning away slowly erodes it.

The Long-Term Impact

When you respond to a bid, your partner feels:

• Seen
• Valued
• Safe

Over time, this builds:

• Emotional intimacy
• Trust
• Greater resilience in conflict

In fact, Gottman’s research shows that positive interactions during neutral or everyday moments are more predictive of marital satisfaction than how couples handle arguments.

That’s right, it’s not how well you fight, but how well you connect that determines your future.

If love is a language, bids for connection are its vocabulary. They’re the “I’m here,” the “Do you see me?” and the “Let’s be close even when life is busy.”

Marriage isn’t held together by grand gestures, it’s strengthened by everyday choices.

And the good news? You get dozens of chances a day to say yes to connection.

So next time your partner sends you a small signal, a sigh, a story, a silly meme, pause.

Look up. Turn toward. Because those little moments? They matter more than you think.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva

Marriage today can feel complicated and uncertain, with countless opinions about what makes a union successful. 

Yet, Christian faith offers more than just a beautiful Church wedding service—it offers practical wisdom and guidance for building a strong, covenantal marriage.

Anglican minister and pastoral counsellor Dr Ralph Bowles speaks about his recent book Marriage, The Christian Way (2025).

“There’s an awful lot of confusion now and diversity about different ideas about what marriage is about,” Dr Bowles said.

“This book is really me putting together the material and the thinking of my teaching ministry as well as my pastoral counselling ministry”.

Dr Bowles’s book draws on decades of pastoral experience and uses biblical principles and Anglican marriage traditions from the past and present.

Consisting of 31 brief chapters that explore a range of topics such as honouring God, purpose of marriage, spousal roles, partner intimacy, resolving conflict, forgiveness, divorce and much more.

“There’s a secret in marriage” Dr Bowles said.

“That it’s a sort of allegory or a picture of the Christian life, of our relationship to God… That would be the main golden thread of the book.”

According to Dr Ralph Bowles, a healthy marriage reveals values of the Christian faith, making this book a guide for couples and followers of Christ seeking to build a lifelong union in accordance with God’s design.

“I wrote it primarily for engaged couples who are serious about their faith and are motivated and interested to know what their faith has to say about being married… But more generally, all married people who are Christians.”

“And for other people who are outside the faith who are getting married and may be curious to know what the Christian faith has to offer for marriage.”

The book additionally addresses the confusion surrounding modern views of marriage.

“Marriage has been changing radically.” Dr Bowles said.

“I thought it was good to make the case for what you might call the traditional view of marriage, which has its roots, of course, in the Bible and the Christian faith.

Marriage, The Christian Way is available now.

Article supplied with thanks to 96five.

Feature image: Canva